Jason didn't realize it, but I locked myself in the bathroom with a knife. That is when the darkness completely took over. No one could even come close to comprehending what I was going through. The major feeling I was having is that no matter how hard I tried, no one could 1. I was talking to my PSR Worker and I even called the suicide hotline, who put me on hold and then I had to wait forever while it kept ringing. I felt so lost, so out of touch with the world. I enjoy my life, I love my family and I love being able to do the things I have so much fun doing. When I am mentally healthy I do not think about taking my life. After dealing with this for about 4 days and it seemed to be getting worse, I started having all kinds of thoughts that I could not control. I was either about to burn the mother to the ground or cry my head off. I had: a horrible head ache, tremors, shaking, irritability, brain shocks, eyes would dart back and forth and the biggest thing, I couldn't stop crying.
Saturday and Sunday was spent entirely in bed because of the Detox. My last post I talked about SSRI Detox and how I had been in bed all day. It is still right in the middle of everything and I have never written about my life situations until long after they happen.
This is really hard for me to write about.
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